Thoughts-2

Dear readers, How are you today? :) At least I hope you're better than me these days, as my mood loves (rire) to play russian mountains...and the weather doesn't help much! My head is also full of thoughts going around...my nights aren't good...either my brain is very active and I can turn and turn until I finally fell asleep (brain will always be a mystery to me, you want to sleep but you can't because you think too much), or either I woke-up early...and I'm of course tired! Urgent...lol! I need a break...I need to recharge the batteries before exams, essays before Christmas and my dissertation (I enjoy doing it) to regurlarly do...I don't mind that...I got used to it, it just the stress and the worries that goes around around these periods...we all experience that...but can't help it! And morever, I realise that it's my last year at uni...it weird...I mean I'm aware of that, I know that...and a part of me, likes it as no more stress or deadline about essays or exams to do, it's another beginning, a new adventure...but another part of me is...well....terrified! What's waiting for me is scaring me! I can't help it! I feel like a fish lost in a big ocean! Or looking at a big mountain...and when my family or close friends ask me (as they of course want to know, which is normal, I don't mind) well, I still panic!!!It might be easy for some (when i see them, it seems so), but it's not for me... Not good, isn't it? I don't know, it's not the end of the world, and everyone goes its own pace after all, takes its time, but sometimes I feel lost and don't how people would react if I tell them 'oh, by the way...I'm terrified! I don't know what to do after uni'. Stupid, isn't it? Growing-up is nice and at least we can more things, more free to be independant...and everything...but to be truthful...all the responsabilities that goes with it, scares me...I'm trying not to but once again I can't help it, I just do! Maybe once I've figure it out...I'll be more relax but in waiting...not easy! I'm a bit shy and not going easily towards people...and most of the job today are a lot in relation with customers...it's not my forte...as I'm more a 'secret person', by that I mean..., I prefer to be behind the scene....if you see what I mean? Maybe also why I communicate more by writing (sometimes it's easier for me)... :) maybe it gets better when you get older...I don't know..everyone is different...:) anyway,thanks for listening to me as always and let's see where it goes...:)will let you know along, see you soon for another article, take care, xxx